Monday, May 26, 2008

Weekly Wish Pond

This week, we're wishing that BNL didn't call themselves the, erm, females in their birthday suits (which obviously change considerably over the years, for the better, and eventually for the hearse) because quite frankly we're grooving on them. We bought "Snack Time," their kids' album, online, and have to speak about the band in code so we don't get Jonah used to the actual phrase.



By the way, "Snack Time" nearly undoes all the psychological damage inflicted by Fraggle Rock, the Teletubbies, Elmo, and Fred Penner. Funny stuff, with all kinds of layers, including several both satirical and reverent musical allusions to Lightfoot, Neil Young, Sharon, Lois, Bram, and, we think, The Cars. Funny stuff: "The Ninjas are deadly and silent/They're also unspeakably violent/They speak Japanese/They do whatever they please/And sometimes they vacation in Ireland"; "You and I both know/It's a girl's coat"; "A is for Aisle, B's for Bdellium, C is for Czar/And if you see 'im d'you mind tellin' 'im?" Great tunes, too: claves, banjoes, and canned wolf howls. Need we say more?

Course, it's funny, cuz who in their right mind wants to see these blokes in the full monty?



Not us. Anyway, back to the point: they make some fun, profound, quirky, generally wholesome and family-friendly stuff. Darn that name anyway!

In the music store:

"Who you lookin' for, sir?"
"The, um, murmurmurmurmurmur. Ahem."
"Oh. Well, we're not really that kind of establishment. Try down on Yonge Street."

In conversation:

"Who's your favourite performing group?"
"Most talented Canadians?"
"Who do you like for the Junos?" (Which has quintessentially Greek implications we won't get into tonight.)

Seeing Ed or Jimmy or Anton or whoever on the street: "Hey! That guy's a BNL!"

(This one actually happened to Wendy on her mission, and being clueless, since they had only emerged during her service, she was very offended:

"And then God called Joseph to restore the Gosp--"
"Hey! BNLs!")

And of course, any exchange between the kiddles and their peers, at any level, is volatile:

"Um. Riley, I'm not really sure those search terms are appropriate for a school project. . . ."

"Whatcha doin', Chris?"
"Listening to . . . ."

"Jewnah!" (She's South African.) "Whot a kewt und funny szone-guh! Weah dihd jew lurn iht?"
"From the . . . ! Yeah! My dad brought them home on the weekend!"

You see the trouble.


Anyway, that's our weekly wish for the pond. What's yours?

Christopher gets his piano this week. Ay caramba. Guitar upstairs, ivories down. Jon will be spending a lot more time in his office. Jonah will positively oscillate. Or sing to compete. Wendy will lose her mind rapidly and permanently. Good times.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Virginny

Went to a conference at SVU in Buena Vista (Boo-eh-na Vee-sta), VA, which the locals call "Byoo-nah Vih-stah," much to the chagrin and aggravation of my sensitive ears. Why waste a perfectly melodic Spanish name like that?

Anyway, it's nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, or the foothills at least, which, if it hadn't been so drizzly, would have been lovely.





A little different from the scenery around here, but I missed my desert all the same.

Hobnobbed with the bigwigs: breakfast with the Bushmans and Givens(es), chatted up Pres. Smith of SVU, talked at length with R Orman of the LDS Museum, and made many great new friends from various parts, including a solid fellow from Manchester, UK, an independent scholar from the U of U Med School, a whippersnapper on his way to greatness in Iowa, a firecracker mom and scholar from St Louis, and a dark and brooding philosopher from Texas. Finally talked with B Jorgensen and others from BYU English--men I had known about but not really talked with while at BYU. Gave B and our British colleague a ride to the airport on Sunday, and we had a nice visit. Drove the Blue Ridge Parkway, had a lovely Italian meal (terrible Pizza Margherita, but the rest was good), and nice conversation. Great, as always, to see and converse with George Handley.

Presentation went well. Lots of conversation after.



Cloud Quiz Answers: Jonah--eagle's eye, Christopher--dragon. They'd love to hear what you see.

No "This Week in Islam" this week. Still reeling from the trip, and catching up at work. So solly.

We named the dog . . .

Guess what we saw yesterday.





We have a bad feeling about this. Can't even blame Shane L this time.

Something else has been bugging us, too:



Actually, this isn't an inordinately buggy place. We get the odd "cock-a-roach," as Tony Montana would say, but of the outdoor, mulch variety that blunders into the house. Lots of ants, with occasional assaults on the castle, and there are termites, but none in our place at present. Septic mosquitoes, while disgusting, are rare, and mosquito season lasts for about a month, it seems. So we can't really complain. But this innocent little beetle freaked Wendy out, so I had to despatch it: crunchy.

Pop quiz: what do you see in the cloud formation? Click to magnify.



What Jonah and Christopher saw after the jump.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Tutto a posto!

Our summer plans are set in stone,
And our road leads to Rome.



We're really excited!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Engrish Bonus

They take their beauty seriously here . . .



Shade of the Month: "Blood Red."

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mother Matters



To Mater

It doesn't much matter
If I say "Dear Mother,"
Or "Mater,"
Or "Madre,"
Or "Mere"

So long as I don't confuse
"Mater" with "Pater"
Or start call-
ing Mother
"Mon pere."

"That's easy," you mutter,
"To tell Mom from Fader
Or Pater
Or Padre
Or Pere."

But here's why it's murder
To not confuse mother
For Father
Or Vater
For mere,

For father is much more
In form a tomat-er,
And mother,
In form,
More a pear.



Though you mutter, I'll wager
That you've, on ocass-ier,
Confounded
Your geni-
tor pair.

Ben note-r: if mother's
Mistaken for father,
Then Mater
Might think
You don't care!

Ah, though she's eke daughter
And sister and lover
To others,
To me she's
most dear

As my own, loving mother:
I'll never consider
Another
my mater,
Not e'er.

Happy Mater's Day, Mudder!

Piddly Riddle: Answer (and shout-outs)

We asked where you thought mosquitoes might breed here, and no one took the hint. So here's the answer:



Alright, so this one's from Indonesia, and the squatters we have here in the UAE are generally in better condition, but this is pretty representative of what we encountered in Oman last Fall.

Most bathrooms in public use buildings have sitting toilets, though many, as in the older buildings of the university, still offer at least one squatter. And that is, indeed, where the mosquitoes are hatched. Nice.

Also, I have to take my own TP to the university. Also nice. Maybe the bidets/hoses make up for the oversights.

Oh, to be arthritic, paraplegic, or an amputee in the UAE!


Shout-outs:

Thanks to Anonymous for the Islam comment. We won't be keeping our promise and posting about prayer this week because Wendy has been very ill, Jonah not much better, and in addition to caring for them I've to write my paper for a conference I'm attending stateside next week. Look for something from Wendy and the kids while I'm gone.

But we would like to know who Anonymous is, if that's okay. We appreciate the inclusion of the idea that women are not obligated to provide in any way for their families, and that they are entitled to keep their salary for themselves. Were going to mention that, but the post got longish as was. This idea that local culture "corrupts" or "inflects" religious practice is also an interesting and important idea. We might ask simply where you are writing from and whether or not what you represent as pure Islam is, indeed, practiced anywhere, or if this is something individual muslims come to by closer study and auto-critical evaluation.

We ask the question in earnest: this is a phenomenon that affects all religions, especially those without a central, living authority, but also those with. How Islam sorts these things out is of interest.

And now, back to lighter matters. Here's the Engrish for this week, as included on a lovely poster purchased by friends of a graduating student and displayed in the IT building on campus, just outside the room where we gathered for a faculty workshop on dealing with English language problems:



Salaam Alakum, and Congratulation (just one, because you're really not that special!)

Monday, May 5, 2008

Monday Awesome

Riley's new idol:

Piddly Riddle



In a country with very limited standing water, where do mosquitoes breed?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Friday Funny



Wrote this a few days ago:

So Jonah comes in this morning straight from bed. I’m in my office, packing up the briefcase for the day, and he’s in his Huck Finn jams: pants too short by a long inch and t-shirt worn and oversized. He’s upset and half-asleep, and he bursts in and stands at the doorway and blurts out, with a perfect admixture of husk, chagrin, and accusation, “Why’d-you-close-my-door-Dad?” Well, Wendy had closed it not ten minutes before hoping he’d sleep in a little (no school today for him), but I played along. I said, equally chagrined and faux-offended, “I-didn’t-close-your-door. Somebody-else-closed-your-door!”

He says, “Maybe-it-was-the-monsters-that-came-in-the-night. That’s-twice-I’ve-slept-in-the-dark!”

Realize there’s no fear in his voice or manner, just massive perturbation.

I assure him he had not been asleep with the door shut for long, and that it wasn’t monsters it was his mater, and even if it were monsters, they’d take one look at my pythons and run screaming from the house. Then I flex Shanana style, and he laughs. Not sure what that means, but I’ve decided not to take it personally.

Dreamt last night about Tom Cruise, artichoke hearts, and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Maybe there are monsters. Who’s up for an exorcisim?


Today:

As a follow-up: last night's dream was that Wendy and I had begun socializing with Brangelina while in Italy. Very nice folks. Cute kids.

Was our Sabbath again, and I gotta admit, it's not easy given the inverted weekend. We don't have a free evening where we can party late and sleep in with impunity, so that sucks. But we do our best. Anyhoo. Today was leadership training in Bahrain, so our BP, his partner, and the RSP were all gone, which left, of active participants, us and Adrian. So we slept in (with approval) and had a GC catchup day. Adrian joined us (see above). Here's Christopher paying very close attention, striking a meditative pose:



What was funny was hearing the difference between our talks and the incantatory stuff broadcast outside. On Fridays we can hear the weekly sermons being delivered over the loudspeakers, but the style is either monotonic or angry, the latter making us nervous and the former quite frankly grating. Anyway, the difference was interesting: I'd rather do 10 hours of expressive, warm, and doctrinally stimulating stuff than the twenty minute alternative. No plans for conversion at present.

Three desert pics from the outskirts taken during our late afternoon drive today, playing Matisyahu and having a sing-along.







And, finally, though not clear: check out the chariot-wrecker hubs on this baby (double-click to magnify). The mud flaps were like a muslim wedding announcement: engraved, brightly coloured, and ornate. The pic doesn't do justice.



Shout-ats: was no one appalled when I suggested we'd be going to Sudan for the summer? We're actually trying for Italy for 6 weeks: a little rental just outside Rome as home base. Speaking of which, I need to pin down my contact. We'll let you know if we'll have room for boarders.

This Week in Islam

Wuvv and Mawwiage.





We've commented before on the family-orientation of Emirati culture. This seems to be extensible to Arab culture in general, though it may be misleading in two ways. The first, the public dynamic of the family--father at the head, wife demure, is not necessarily a reflection of the realities "on the ground" of home, nor is it by any means overwhelmingly normative anymore.
We see increasing numbers of couples who seem to have arrived at a partnership: holding hands, co-managing kids and groceries, and (that telltale sign of marital bliss) squabbling in public. That's the happy side.

The second way in which it is misleading isn't quite so happy, of course, nor is it attributable entirely to tradition or faith because it is an ugly reality around the world: that is that apparent unity and order in public may belie abuse in private. We won't detail those things here because, as we say, they are ubiquitous in human society and owe more to the faults of individual men who use tradition as an excuse than they do anything peculiar to Arab culture.

Let us be clear, since you have no doubt heard of some terrible monstrosities committed in this region: forced marriages, honour killings, rape, etc. Islam, as contained in the teachings of the Qur'an and under the auspices of Shari'ah Law, guarantees the safety, agency, and welfare of brides. How those principles have been interpreted and or corrupted in specific regions, cultures, and families is another matter. There are families even here that have corrupted the doctrines, or have received them in corrupted form, and thus consider abuse in all forms a patriarchal right, and even a rite. We've heard some very terrible things, especially from more radically Islamist places like KSA, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and even supposedly secular Turkey. But it seems--seems--that the UAE is more libertarian in this regard as well, and that the dominant culture, as handed down by the ruling family, is one of greater transparency and rectitude: there are hypocrisies at work, of course, but inhumanity is not the norm by any stretch in our experience.

(A third irony, only recently brought to our attention, is that new mothers studying at the university are allowed one week after delivery to recuperate, then they are to return to their university studies, even if this means living in the hostels during the week and leaving their babies to be cared for by mothers and mothers-in-law. We must say, unequivocally, that this is shameful.)

It would seem, however, that marital relations are generally managed with a presumptive level of commitment, and that flexibility and responsibility are both built in to the institution. Here's what we learned this week about courtship, marriage, divorce, and reconciliation.

Courtship:

In general, husbands and wives do not have meaningful interactions before marriage, unless they are known to each other as cousins already. It seems that marriage between first cousins occurs, though the women prefer more distant connections if an in-family marriage is to take place. So incest taboos are in general force.

An interested young man (on his own terms or at the behest of his parents--mothers of sons have often seen these young girls in their ballroom finery at segregated portions of other wedding feats and celebrations, and from the sound of it they dress to the nines) will approach the father or male guardian (uncle, brother, etc.) of an eligible woman and offer a dowry. The dowry is, ostensibly, for her, and may be in the form of a gift of land, a house, or money. There are, of course, certain cultures in the Muslim world where fathers keep the dowry or husbands reclaim it after marriage, but here in the UAE the principle is apparently honoured very closely: the gift is hers and hers alone.

The woman may request that her male representative look into the character and history of the interested man, at which point her rep is supposed to make extensive inquiries. If she then agrees to the engagement, the dowry is transferred. She and her husband-to-be may exchange pictures so that each knows what the other looks like. He is allowed to join her family for meals and socialization, but she will, if it is her family practice, remain veiled and always silent on these occasions. This is a period for her to observe him in social spaces. The engagement may be terminated at any point by either party.

Interesting that the manner of giving assent to the marriage is by silence. Maybe they save all their talking for later.

Marriage:

The marriage ceremony is, like everything else (including conversion to Islam) a very simple matter of speaking certain words. The parties, on the other hand, are as lavish and costly as a New York barmitzvah, if not more so. The couple may live in a compound with his family or, if the wife insists, on their own. The husband is responsible for the maintenance of the family, including any children. If the wife works, she is legally permitted to keep all proceeds of her employment for herself. Couples may sign "nuptial" contracts guaranteeing her guardianship of children or a settlement in case of divorce.

Men seem in the main to love children, and are thus very active, at least publicly, in caring for and playing with their children. Some families drag cow-eyed nannies around: some of these seem little better than slavish, ill-defined "jobs," and others seem to have adopted the nanny into family life as a kind of live-in aunt.

Divorce and Reconciliation:

Only men can pronounce divorce, and again, it's simply a matter of saying "I divorce you." If he changes his mind, the husband may approach the wife in humility and ask her to come back. If she agrees, they pick up where they left off. If not, she is often expected to return the dowry, even in cases where she has been mistreated. This is to keep peace between families, and seems to be a holdover from tribal relations, which still influence some marriages, it seems.

If a man divorces his wife a second time, he can ask her to come back, but he must offer her a second dowry, over and above what he already paid. This is, we are told, a deterrent from divorce.

If he divorces her a third time, they must sever all contact. He can only remarry her if she has been married to another man in the interim, and is released by divorce or widowed. She cannot, however, marry another man simply for the purpose of remarrying her original husband. This is because divorce is frowned upon, and the penalty for strike three typically deters divorce since no man wants to think his wife has been with someone else.

Polygamy:

Bonus. Polygamy is allowed only if a) the man is capable of caring for additional wives and families, b) he has reason for doing so (similar to early secular justifications of polygamy in the US context: care of widows and orphans or the security of spinsters), c) has the approval of his first wife, though this last one is, again, abused in some areas.


Special thanks to Shaimaa and Aisha for their patience in explaining all of this. Wendy has also contributed through some of her reading of late. A search on the web will yield both naively idealistic portrayals and rabidly critical portrayals. For instance, this rather alarming piece from the Daily Mail (also our photocred). The general truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle.

Next week in Islam: prayer, from what the Prophet said to the supplicatory do'a.

Peace alakum.