Momma and her Boyees

A little before her Christmas galavant to St. George (minus dragons), Wendy was feeling enormous parental guilt at abandoning her spawn, and leaving her husband to work, babysit, feed, clothe, clean, and change the diapers (oh, wait: no diapers), and so she decided to treat them to a day at the zoo, followed by steamers at Starbucks, which has evolved into something of a personal coping strategy, and thus it is a great honour to share in the ritual.

Ahem. Back on track. Number 1 elected to stay home, being far too old for zoos, and far too cool for anything not deep-fried. He stayed in his room, silent (but deadly), mooning over some girl, no doubt, far away in Castelnuovo di Farfa, who was no doubt mooning over him, but probably in Italian.

I, on the other hand, was not mooning anybody, but was hard at work earning a living in my office, and maybe watching an episode of Prison Break online. Maybe.

Here's what Wenders got up to. I've posted this under her account so she can edit at will, with the proviso she not remove any mooning jokes or the stuff about steamers.

"Oh that ain't the half of it! Oh no, sistah! She was all like, 'oh no you ditint!' And I was like, "Oh yes I ditit!' And she was all like, "Get ouch mah face!" And I was like, "That's yo face? I thought it was yo momma's toupee!' Hee-hee! Girl, I was all up in her bizness, uh-huh!"

"Tyger, tyger, burning bright

"In the forests of the night,

"What immortal hand or eye 

"Could frame thy fearful symmetry?"

"Kgkgkgkgkgkgkguh-kuh-kuh-ngaw. Huh? Sorry. What? You say something? Geez, I musta dozed off for a minute there."

". . . and we have a message we'd like to share with you: 'Nanananabooboo! Plllssllsplspllst!'"

"Hey Doris!"

"Yeah, Merv?"

"You got any uh dat cream left ovah?"

"I dunno, why?"

"My keistah is faschliggudah! That's why!"

"Oh my goodness. Honey, I don't think the cream's gonna cut it this time. Maybe you should go and see my son, the doctah!"

More monkeys, fairly evolved. Makes one almost believe old Chucky D. Well, wholesale, that is.

Nice work on these next two. Look out, ec. Wendy's gonna be all up in yo bizness!

"Ziss precociouss 'jungstehr'--ha ha, zat'ss a liddle choke I made zere (oh, zat's anuzzehr vun: tee-hee, zese are my pesst chokess, all epic-glottiss, you cood ssay!)--vass performing vhut vee call in medicine ein 'autotracheotomy.' Ass you can ssee, he missus zuh sroat, und inssted punckchuhrs hiss left chick. Now all zat happens iss vhen he breazs, he vhistles like a liddle faun viss a pan floot!"

"And then the alien plant thingy says, 'Feed me, Seymour!'"

What would we think of an alphabet poem cycle with an eco-conservationist theme? Who'd buy that for a dollar?

Okay, okay, so there are lots of these out there, but they tend not to be sophisticated or interesting poetically: sloppy, cliche', trite even. I want to write one that sings for its supper.

Poem the first (Adam, even you can deduce the structural conceit at work here; Earth Mother, if he asks you, that's cheating):



Albert Ross the Albatross

Auld Albert Ross, the albatross,
Adores the wide, blue sea:
Al loves its winds, its waves, its fins
And every kind of food that swims
But not the plastics, bottles, tins
Collecting annually therein
Because we treat it like a bin
And make life difficult for him,
Al’s friends, Al’s food (the kind with fins)
Across the wide, blue sea.
Auld albatross, our Albert Ross.


Of course, the next poem will have to follow suit: BBBBCDCBBBB, with the reversal in the last line (Y and Z would either have to dip back into A and B respectively, or I could use numbers instead). Or I could come up with a new poetic form for each letter. Or better yet, find a form for each that starts with that letter: ode for O, rubaiyat for R, sonnet for s, epithalamion or epigram for E, palindrome for P: you get the idea: world's first multi-tasking poetry primer for kids: an introduction to poetic forms, eco-conservatist political messages, and an introduction to alphabetical literacy. Whizbang.


Photocred: Dr. Mike Double

Potential problem: Ralph McTell's already done the "Albert Ross" thing. Not surprised: it's a no-brainer. But my poem is better than his. Trust me.

Zoology: And we ain't lion!

It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiife! And it mooves us aaaawll!



You may be wondering why we haven't posted any pictures of Jon lately. Well, the carb-rich cuisine doesn't agree . . . .



So we've been to the Al Ain Zoo twice now. The firs time was at night, and there was a lot of activity, but very few decent shots. The second time was today, and Riley took pictures of everything. We'll rummage through and find some spectacular shots to share. It really is an exceptional zoo: casually laid out, with large, natural spaces for all the animals. Even at 1:30 today, under a high sun and in 32 C, we were able to see everything but the crocs (green water), though many of the larger mammals were lolling about in the shade. (J. Young, when you come next year we'll take you around.)

They even have penguins! Last week we went to the bird show--pretty decent. Today we had a complimentary zebra-painted "train" ride: like stretch golf carts with a land cruiser engine. And it's cheap: our whole fam-damily gets in for about $10. There are large picnic spaces, hourly mistings (a cool mist dispensed over walkways), and room galore. One of the highlights.

We'll be getting to more places in the coming weeks, local and not-so. We hope to get to Salala in Oman in two weeks: this is reportedly where (for all you Mos) a certain family boarded homemade ships around 600 B.C. We'll share discoveries later. Sounds like a beautiful place, but our going depends on my holidays. Dec. 2 is a national holiday, but unless I get the 3rd off, it might be difficult to go. Anyway, we'll keep you all posted.

In other news:

Jon's job is getting tolerable, and busier. He has supervised the debate society this semester, and this week they placed third at a public speaking competition. They worked very hard, and were very sweet about everything. Bright spots occur, however infrequently, and he'll soldier on.

We bought a digital video camera this week, in hopes of improving the quality of our home videos. Problem is the mac won't recognize the file types, so we've an obstacle or two to overcome before we can start sharing the fruits.

Alberta connection: the Browns, a yank family living in Abu Dhabi that came with us to the zoo today, spoke admiringly of Elder T. Smith from Southern A. We were proud to announce that he and his son were our family doctors, and that the son and his wife were also among our very best of friends.

Two days ago we went to Abu Dhabi for American Thanksgiving. It was a lot of fun. There were three other families, all with kids of various ages, and the food was fantastic. Interesting company. Good to connect.

Al AIn Branch Times:

(Too little for its own update this week): we met in the new digs for the first time, and all agree we need rugs and curtains asap. The echo was tremendous. Three nights cleaning floors and windows last week, and there was still a fine film on the tiles that we need to remove. But it was good to be there. The BP dedicated at the outset: it was a beautiful experience. Need to set up a history.

More next week, including additional video, insh'Allah. Meantime: 6 comments on last week's post? Six comments!? Just because it was Wendy directly? I give and I give . . .

Clarificatus: I do the typing because I have the surest fingers and I know how to spell and punctuate. But most of the time everyone participates. A little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, s'il vous plait!

That's all for now. More next week, once I get over my petulance. Sniff.

Shokran. We love you, Detroit!

Late Friday, Eyes are Itchy and Sore, . . .

(kinda like the red sands of the Arabian desert, only not so gritty. Trivia: the sand changes hue several times between here and Abu Dhabi: this shot is just outside of Al Ain, but the closer you get to the coast, the more tan the shade. 20 points to the person who can figure out why.)



. . . and I don't remember what I promised to blog about and am too lazy to check. Updates: curtains are in, nearly all hemmed. Wendy plans to take some interior shots this week during the daylight hours. Back garden is in better shape: we did some trimming there and in the front, and raked away the detritus. I transplanted our banana plants and one palm, and so far they seem to be managing. Cross your fingers.

Eid wasn't as insane as we thought it would be: only three major accidents, including a late-Ramadan one that Lance, Justin, and I came upon during our quick trip to Abu Dhabi: guy had plunged off of an overpass and ended up sideways behind a guardrail perpendicular to the overpass alongside the highway. Impressive bit of driving, that. Could have been very, very bad if he'd landed on the highway itself. A marvel and a wonder.

Also forayed into Dubai this week: not very far, mind you, and only to Ace Hardware and Ikea (exotic, aren't we?),



but it was apparently a good traffic day, and we made it home in one piece. Here's the proof:



Merv's a handsome fella, i'nt he?

Here's the soon-to-be new Tower of Babel I mean world's tallest structure in perspective.



Pic of the week: our first camels! Wendy's on the stick, as usual.



Moo? Mmmmm. Camel milk. . . .

Weather's turned cold: 35-37 degrees during the day, and a downright chilly 20 at night. Brrr. Might have to turn off the a/c if this keeps up. Wendy says while she misses autumn, she'll settle for spring in reverse: everything is in bloom here. Very strange. We're hoping our little garden blossoms before long.

Kids' turn will have to wait a week: sorry. Thanks for the questions. We'll queue them up. And while we're on that subject, all you silent skulkers out there need to make some noise. Let us know you're reading and what you think. Let us know what you'd like to know about as well. Sorry it's not hi-larious tonight: taxing week. I'll make sure to commit a faux-pas or two this week so I have something humorous to recount.

Salaam.